Gravity Hurts aka Time-Out
I woke up early Wednesday afternoon from an anesthetic induced drool-fest. For the first time in a long time, I felt like things might be coming together. Like the holding pattern I'd inadvertently found myself in had ended while I snoozed silently on the operating table. I laid in the recovery room; tears rolling down my cheeks. When the nurses asked if I was ok I replied, "Yes." Was I in pain? "No, I'm just happy. They're happy tears."
What a weirdo.
My tears quickly subsided when the apple juice and crackers appeared.
Years ago, I found myself with two friends on a trip to the Palisades in Cali. We aimed to do a few day tour; snowcamping, riding fun lines, and standing atop peaks. What happened, much to the dismay of everyone was very different. In a long story short kind of fashion, the snow was very firm. Instead of skinning, I should have had on boot crampons. Instead of falling down a big slope, I should have stood at 14,000 some feet that day, looking at a sea of high desert peaks. The mountains don't care about agendas. When I slipped, my hand was stuck in my ski pole which led to me landing on my side, arm outstretched, dislocating my shoulder and proceeding to fall several hundred feet. Rookie mistakes. Gaining downhill speed, thought occurred to me: If I am above rocks, it's over.
Being that I'm writing this, you probably guessed that 1. There were no rocks and 2. I survived.
The next few years were filled with athletic and alpine disappointments. Even when I summited peaks and routes, I always felt like I was toeing the line between being safe and complete disaster. Harming yourself is one thing; having an accident that injures your outdoor companions is another.
Luckily, I only ever did damage to myself and it came at a heavy cost physically and mentally. After every re-injury, I removed an outdoor interest from my life. I dislocated my shoulder liebacking on a climb, so I decided that I didn't need to lieback to climb anymore. Dislocated my shoulder while paddling into a wave on Maui. Suddenly I was selling my surfboard. Who needs to surf anyway? This trend continued with everything from swimming to downhill biking, and with each sport gone came a bit more depression.
You know you've done a doozie of a job when your surgeon asks you sympathetically, "What have you done to yourself?" Here is my full diagnosis (with photos):
Sitting in the sunshine, I get to think about the things that I know now. Hindsight, you devil. I hope your life benefits from this information.
Carry and use proper gear: I read several accident reports this winter involving people falling and sliding on firm snow while skinning. I'll admit that I harshly judged these people until I remembered that I made that same mistake (how quick we are to judge). Sometimes you just have to carry your skis and throw the crampons on...and don't think that ski-crampons are a suitable substitute in all conditions. They aren't.
Be educated in first-aid (at least!!): We were on day two of a multi-day outing when I fell. Luckily enough, my partner knew how to reduce shoulders. I'd be far worse off if this hadn't worked out.
You're not invincible: We're all departing this game of life at some point and every day that you wake up is a pretty spectacular achievement.
PT won't heal torn ligaments or tendons: I should have had surgery years ago.
BIG thanks to Dr. VanHofwegen (Pacific Rim Orthopedics) for putting me back together.
What a weirdo.
My tears quickly subsided when the apple juice and crackers appeared.
Years ago, I found myself with two friends on a trip to the Palisades in Cali. We aimed to do a few day tour; snowcamping, riding fun lines, and standing atop peaks. What happened, much to the dismay of everyone was very different. In a long story short kind of fashion, the snow was very firm. Instead of skinning, I should have had on boot crampons. Instead of falling down a big slope, I should have stood at 14,000 some feet that day, looking at a sea of high desert peaks. The mountains don't care about agendas. When I slipped, my hand was stuck in my ski pole which led to me landing on my side, arm outstretched, dislocating my shoulder and proceeding to fall several hundred feet. Rookie mistakes. Gaining downhill speed, thought occurred to me: If I am above rocks, it's over.
Being that I'm writing this, you probably guessed that 1. There were no rocks and 2. I survived.
The next few years were filled with athletic and alpine disappointments. Even when I summited peaks and routes, I always felt like I was toeing the line between being safe and complete disaster. Harming yourself is one thing; having an accident that injures your outdoor companions is another.
Luckily, I only ever did damage to myself and it came at a heavy cost physically and mentally. After every re-injury, I removed an outdoor interest from my life. I dislocated my shoulder liebacking on a climb, so I decided that I didn't need to lieback to climb anymore. Dislocated my shoulder while paddling into a wave on Maui. Suddenly I was selling my surfboard. Who needs to surf anyway? This trend continued with everything from swimming to downhill biking, and with each sport gone came a bit more depression.
You know you've done a doozie of a job when your surgeon asks you sympathetically, "What have you done to yourself?" Here is my full diagnosis (with photos):
1. Torn labrum - Bankart tear
2. Partial tear subscapularis tendon
3. Partial tear bicep tendon
4. Hill Sachs fracture
Sitting in the sunshine, I get to think about the things that I know now. Hindsight, you devil. I hope your life benefits from this information.
Carry and use proper gear: I read several accident reports this winter involving people falling and sliding on firm snow while skinning. I'll admit that I harshly judged these people until I remembered that I made that same mistake (how quick we are to judge). Sometimes you just have to carry your skis and throw the crampons on...and don't think that ski-crampons are a suitable substitute in all conditions. They aren't.
Be educated in first-aid (at least!!): We were on day two of a multi-day outing when I fell. Luckily enough, my partner knew how to reduce shoulders. I'd be far worse off if this hadn't worked out.
You're not invincible: We're all departing this game of life at some point and every day that you wake up is a pretty spectacular achievement.
PT won't heal torn ligaments or tendons: I should have had surgery years ago.
BIG thanks to Dr. VanHofwegen (Pacific Rim Orthopedics) for putting me back together.
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