Trench Warfare (written 11/1/11)

A sudden rise in my water bill led me to believe that there was a leak in my house. Since I was not currently living there and the renter's back was injured, I call in professional assistance. The plumber who drew the short stick for the day was sent off to look around, on hands and knees and belly, in the crawl space of my little A-frame. Much to my dismay, he found nothing to be leaking. His estimate for main water line replacement/repair could range anywhere from $800-2000 depending on how long it would take him to hand dig the trench and find the leak. $80/hour adds up quickly when one can only use hand tools due to an excess of trees. It also adds up quickly when digging is hampered by all those trees' roots and large rocks. I kindly told him I would not be needing his assistance.

This decision is what brought Pat and me to Maple Falls, WA. Together we would hand dig the trench, replace the area that was leaking 30,000+ gallons a month, backfill our massive hole, and make our escape south for the winter. We got to MF on Sunday and took care of regular house things including finding renters for the winter. Then we waited.

Why wait? Well, I decided it was wise to request that buried lines be marked so that we wouldn't get electrocuted. Marking was scheduled for anytime on Monday. The man from the power company arrived around noon and informed me that absolutely nothing was buried. I felt a bit silly, but then thought waiting for the man from the water company would prove fruitful. He arrived shortly afterwards. "Your water line goes from there to here," he said while pointing from the road to the water meter. A mere five feet lay between the two points.
"And from here?" I asked pointing from the meter to the rest of the yard.
"Oh that...hmm. Can't tell ya."
"You can't?"
"We don't go on private property. That's your deal," both his hands were waving the air like he was waving my problems away from his entire being.
"Man, I wish that water meter were closer to the house.
"You and every one else I meet."
So that was that. We started our excavation at the house and aimed for the street. We dug for the rest of the day following the water line but didn't find a leak.

In the morning we started at the meter working backwards. We made it less than ten feet in three hours. It was straight demoralizing. Every whack of the Polaski was stopped abruptly by a tree root thicker than my arm...and the shovel proved to be useless. Now, there are times when every cheap ass has to yell uncle. This was one of those times, and it sounded like this... "This is F-ing awful." It only took a half dozen calls to ensure that a ditch witch would be in my driveway at 9 AM the next morning. For a few hundred dollars we could skip on at least two days of the worst manual labor imaginable. Done deal.